Why Wait Til 40 To Find Freedom? – by Halley Firstenberg

I just turned 40 and I recently came across this quote by author, life coach, MD Charles F. Glassman…

The Elimination Diet:
Remove anger, regret, resentment, guilt, blame and worry. Then, watch your health and life improve.

Ok, if you are saying, “duh, I already know that”, please just read on and humor me because I find this to be a very powerful statement.

It reminded me of how far I have come and the work I still have to do. Looking back I wonder, had I focused a little less on my food diet and more on my emotional diet, where I would be today?!  It’s an interesting thought.

I remember Amy Schneider once said in her class, “If you are feeling sad, it does not mean you are an unhappy person”.  Feelings and emotions are a natural thing.  Feeling something does not mean you are actually that type of person. For instance, you may have feelings of resentment but that does not mean you are a mean, angry, resentful person.

This is where I feel it necessary to talk about drama. Like you, I have had drama in my life.  By definition drama is an exciting, emotional or an unexpected series of events or set of circumstances. I recognize that I have allowed circumstances to affect my emotional state and how I feel.  This does not make me a dramatic person…not all the time. 😉

It’s only when I am so far in the abyss of emotion that I cannot really see anything else.  This is when it becomes what I call a “poor me pitty party”.  I’m so far in, I’m unable to notice that I’m being dramatic and that I’m allowing these circumstances to have power over me.  Albert Einstein said, “no problem can be solved in the same level of consciousness that created it”.  In yoga, when we come out of this state, we call it awareness.  What I mean is when I take a minute to sit back, take a breath, and create some space between action and reaction, then and only then, I make the choice to forgive myself, them, and everyone involved in the circumstance because… ain’t nobody got time for that!  Surely not me and not the awesome people in my life.

How could I come out from my abyss and really see the problem when I am so in my pitty party. The problem was everything listed there in the good doctor’s quote.  It was never the other people’s judgement of me that mattered in the end or whether my actions or their actions were right or wrong. I am wasting time and energy. Again, ain’t nobody got time for that!

Today, this still happens.  I feel shame and betrayal and all that. BUT it only takes a moment for me to notice it and then…..ahhh, the “poor me pitty party” is done. Ok, sometimes 10,000 moments because life is complicated and major stuff (or the other word for poop) happens. Plus, I’m not good at math but 10,000 moments is not that long. Not even a day, right?  Point being it does not take long to choose freedom.

Some of you are saying, I know people like that – blankety blank blank blank – insert boring long story here about someone still holding onto their (other word for poop), maybe even about me that is still taking up precious real estate in their head.  This is not about them. This is about you. Okay, actually this is about me because its my blog but you know what I’m saying.

Yoga says “look inside, inside is only good”. When shame, betrayal, anger, etc. come up for me, this is my mantra. I Believe it, I say it, I live it. Otherwise they are just cheesy words that sounds like something I quoted from any yoga periodical.

Look inside, inside is only good.

Say it. Ok, say it again.

It’s rather freeing.

At any age.